Sins of the Father Read online

  Friends and family came to visit. Wes and Ellen the bach-owners came, and Faith came up a couple of times with some of her family. They had never seen Sandy so relaxed and happy. This laughing woman was so different from the controlled Sandy of the community. Here she was at ease. She didn’t even seem to worry about not going to church. To her there was only one true church and she couldn’t attend it but she seemed content to read her Bible and pray each night with the children. Phil went along with her observances and didn’t upset her by telling her that he now questioned the whole idea of God. It may be coincidence, but the photos and footage taken of the family’s months at the bach all show Sandy without her headscarf, the community symbol of women’s subservience to men.

  The idyll couldn’t last. Phil knew they would have to leave sooner or later, that they couldn’t live in isolation forever. Part of him wanted more out of life anyway; he needed to be making things happen. After about three months they decided the time had come to re-enter the world. They discussed where they would live: would they settle in nearby Blenheim, or would they go back to Christchurch?

  They talked it over with the children and together decided on Christchurch. They had the house to go back to, and such gear as they possessed, but more importantly they had family in Christchurch. It was a wrench to leave the bach where they’d been so happy but, as always, Phil was looking to the future and looking forward to making his way in the world. At the beginning of July 1990, he packed his family, the terrier, and all their luggage into the van and they set off for Christchurch.

  Sandy grew quiet as soon as they began passing through populated areas. She turned away from worldly roadside hoardings advertising cafes, breweries and motels. Sights such as women wearing make-up and short skirts, which hadn’t worried her on their trips to Picton, now seemed to distress her. Phil tried to engage her in talk about what they would do once they got home. She merely nodded in response and he suspected she didn’t take in anything he said. The children sang the newest songs their mother had taught them and the dog leapt around. Phil was relieved when eventually the dog went quiet. Suddenly the kids started shrieking, ‘Rufus has been sick! Rufus has been sick!’ The smell was foul.

  Tendy remembers the dog being sick and her father stopping on the side of the road, muttering something like, ‘Oh, I can’t …’ then grabbing the shotgun and the dog and disappearing into the bush at the side of the road. The kids heard a shot and a yelp, then their father came back without the dog, got in and drove off as if nothing had happened, and they were all thinking, Oh my gosh! Where’s the dog?

  A vomiting dog was just too much for Phil to cope with, especially as Sandy grew quieter and more withdrawn the further south they travelled.

  The move unsettled her badly. There were so many outside influences in Christchurch, so many decisions to make that she’d never had to think about before: what schools the children would go to, what supermarket she should shop at, what she would she cook for dinner – and what would she do about church?

  The children helped her as much as they could, proud to show off their worldly knowledge, but Israel saw that she wasn’t happy. He kept his worries to himself. The others soon picked up their mother’s mood. Dawn and Tendy clung to her skirts, unwilling to let her out of their sight, while Justine distressed her further by shows of disobedience which Sandy saw as rebellion and contrary to how a Christian daughter should behave. Crystal continued to be her normal happy self, sitting on the bare floor surrounded by the few toys and books the family had, and singing to herself.

  Phil hoped for the best and dived back into work. He felt invigorated to be out in the world again, renewing business contacts and gathering materials to resume making waterbeds, but it was torture for Sandy. She reverted to wearing the blue community dress and headscarf she’d worn the day she was abducted. She hadn’t worn the dress once in the Sounds.

  Not long after they moved, Phil had to go to Wellington to discuss the court case concerning the $100,000 the community owed Clive. He had a morning appointment in Christchurch to install a waterbed. He reassured Sandy that he’d be back to say goodbye to her and pick up his bag in time for his afternoon flight. He was only going to be gone overnight. She rang him mid-morning and asked him to please come home at 12. Most unusually, she was insistent and he did as she asked.

  He got home, but she wasn’t in the kitchen or the living room. He searched the house and found her waiting for him in bed. She asked him to make love to her and later it seemed to him as if she’d been saying, I love you. Please forgive me for what I’m going to do. It was a significant event, since she’d never done anything like it before. Both of them had grown up with very Victorian attitudes about modesty and sex that hadn’t changed in spite of Neville’s actions. But at the time, Phil simply thought that it was his lucky day.

  She’d packed his bag so that it was ready for him to take. She was the ideal wife.

  Phil flew to Wellington and called home that evening but nobody answered. It was the same in the morning. He flew back to Christchurch late in the afternoon, sick to his stomach, and found the house in darkness. He had no key and had to break a window to get inside. Sandy had left a note on the table.

  I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I’ve taken the kids but they’re okay.

  Phil was distraught but he understood her terrible dilemma: she wanted to be with him and the children, but living outside the community meant that she was rebelling against God and thus eternal salvation would be denied her. That, along with the pressures of everyday living had been too much. His guess is that she phoned the community as soon as he left.

  He called his brother, John, telling him what had happened, and asked him to come over. Next, he phoned the community and asked to speak to Sandy. He was prepared for a refusal but she was allowed to come to the phone. He told her he was coming to pick the kids up. It was a short conversation.

  By the time Phil and John got out to the community, it was late at night but the lights were on in the big dining room. They walked in to find Neville waiting for them, surrounded by all the men and half the rest of the community. Crystal was sitting on Sandy’s knee with the other four children on either side of their mother. Phil felt the power of the set-up, but refused to be intimidated although the message was clear: Philip, are you going to take these children from their mother – in front of witnesses?

  Phil ignored his father. He held the door open and said, ‘Come on, kids, let’s go.’ All of them ran to him; even Crystal jumped off her mother’s lap to go straight to her father.

  Neville strode up with three or four men. ‘Did that make you feel good?’

  Phil said, ‘I’ve got nothing to say to you.’ He looked at Sandy and her face was torn.

  She had to watch her children leave when all she needed was one word from Neville and she could have gone with them. Phil believed that Neville could have told her she’d be able to find eternal salvation anywhere as long as she lived a Christian life, but she was too valuable a tool in the ongoing battle with his son.

  Phil drove away knowing yet again that he was a monster in the eyes of his wife and the community. The children were a mess of tears and questions: What’s happening? Where’s Mum?

  It was the most heart-wrenching night of his life. He put his sobbing children to bed, all the time telling them not to worry, that he would get their mum back. Everything was going to be fine.

  The kids cried themselves to sleep, and so did he. They had lost their mother again, and his attempts to create a family life for his children had failed.

  He was a wreck. After the months of planning to get her out, he was back at square one and back to being a single dad. All that effort and time wasted. Those were tough nights for the children, too. They’d spent three wonderful months with their mother, only to have their security and happiness destroyed.

  Faced with his distraught children and Sandy’s intransigence, Phil thought seriously about giving in: packing t
hem up and going back to the community. Part of him wanted to do just that, especially when he had to listen to the kids crying themselves to sleep. He worried most about seven-year-old Dawn and three-year-old Tendy. His oldest daughter was utterly heartbroken and took no comfort from his repeated assurances that he’d get her mum back again, while Tendy drifted about looking lost and wounded. Of the four girls, twenty-month-old Crystal appeared least affected and was quickly back to her happy, chirpy self. Justine who had not long turned five, and Tendy at not quite four, were old enough to feel the loss more acutely. Israel soon appeared to get over his mother’s departure. Phil was proud of his capable son who was doing all he could to look after his sisters.

  Israel continued to keep quiet about the stomach pains, which had worsened after his mother left. Why worry his dad when there was no money to go to a doctor anyway?

  Although it was a struggle, Phil forced himself to keep hope in their lives. He told them over and over not to worry, that one day they would all be together again. For some time he wrestled with the question of whether he should sacrifice himself and just go back to the community with the kids. It would be torture for him, but it mightn’t be so bad if the children had their mother again.

  In the end, though, he knew he couldn’t go back. He didn’t want it for his children either. He had to keep moving forwards.

  And so the planning started all over again.

  CHAPTER NINE: MYSTICAL PLACE AMONG THE STARS

  When Dad told us we were going to America to live with the Hutterites I was so excited because I had memories of these men coming to the community dressed in their strange clothes and speaking with strange accents. They were held in such high esteem. I likened them to the three wise men in the Bible and I thought they lived in this mystical place among the stars. And when we got there it turned out to be pretty much like that. ISRAEL

  The battle between Phil and his father took a new twist with Sandy’s return to the community. Sandy discovered she was pregnant, but when she told Neville, he decreed that her baby would be born a bastard. The logic went something as follows: Sandy couldn’t possibly be pregnant to a man who was as despicable as Phil, therefore she must have consorted with another man. Sandy was devastated but she bore the slur on her character as just punishment for staying so long out of the community.

  Phil heard of her pregnancy and of his father’s decree via the bush telegraph operating between the community and outside. If he’d needed any convincing that it would be worth another attempt to rescue his wife, this was it. His child would not grow up under the burden of such a stigma in a community where legitimacy mattered. His father would not win. The problem, though, was formidable. He was forced to recognise the strength of Sandy’s enthralment to Neville and his teachings. She couldn’t live independently and he had no idea how they might live, even if he was able to get her out for a third time.

  He continued to reassure the children. ‘Mum will come back. We’ll get her back, don’t worry.’

  The crux of the problem, he decided, was that Sandy believed with all of her being that the only way she could achieve eternal salvation for herself and her children was to stay with Neville inside his community. Casting around for anything that might help, Phil remembered the Hutterite elders and how much his father had admired them. Although they’d severed their connection with Neville because of their disquiet at how he ran his community, Phil thought they might be able to persuade his father to let Sandy go. They were Godly men whom Neville respected, so perhaps he might listen to them. It was worth a try and he had no other ideas.

  He wrote to the elders who had visited Neville’s community, explaining who he was and what the problem was. They rang him, inviting him and Israel to come over to visit, and they paid for the tickets.

  While Faith cared for the girls, Phil and Israel flew to America. While his dad talked to the elders, Israel was free to explore the community. It felt like home – like home had been back in the New Zealand community when Mum and Dad were both there. The women in their long dresses smiled at him and spoiled him with treats from their kitchens; the other kids played with him on the swings and slides, or took him on expeditions to streams and lakes. There were so many people. He felt he’d come home.

  Phil discussed every aspect of the problem with the elders. After careful thought, they decided to send Neville a letter asking him to allow Sandy to be a mother to her children, basing their appeal on common decency. They had good reason to expect a favourable reply because of Neville’s admiration for their way of life.

  Neville’s reply, though, was harsh and unyielding. In essence, the message was, Keep out of this. It’s none of your business. He would have nothing to do with any scheme which seemed designed to help Phil.

  Phil and Israel flew home, with Phil no closer to knowing what he was going to do about Sandy and their unborn child. He had plenty of time to think on the long flights from New York to Christchurch, and he kept coming back to what he knew for certain: Sandy wanted to be with her children, she loved them and she loved him. He would have to give her another chance and that meant rescuing her yet again. This time, he might not be so lucky but he was determined to try.

  He had wanted to keep the Hutterites neutral and allow them to act as mediators between Neville and himself, but the response from Neville put an end to that hope. He decided that if he could get Sandy out, he would take up the offer from the Hutterites to take his family to America and live with them.

  The biggest problem was how to abduct Sandy for the third time. When he got home, he wasn’t surprised to discover from people who had contact with the community that Neville had changed her room yet again, and that he wasn’t letting her go into town. He was being extremely careful.

  Phil felt powerless. Time was racing by and if Sandy’s pregnancy was too far advanced, she wouldn’t be allowed to fly. He had to urgently come up with a plan to get her out. He dreamed up hundreds, and discarded them all as too risky. In the end he kept it as simple as possible: he would go in during daylight and grab her. He did the planning and wrote the lists:

  ask Faith to look after the kids

  ask brothers David and Michael to help with kidnap

  arrange for friend to drive getaway car

  arrange another friend to drive van to community for Phil and brother to hide in

  hire two-way radios

  arrange for provisions at bach

  arrange to have boat waiting

  get multiple visa and passport forms to take to bach

  get doctor’s certificate to say that Sandy is allowed to fly

  sell all possessions

  In the second week of December, with the plans in place, it was time to act. Michael went out to the community in advance and hid in the trees across the road from the day-care centre where Sandy worked. He called up on the two-way radio: ‘She’s in there. Grab her now.’

  But Phil and the others were still about 40 minutes away, with David and Phil lying on a mattress in the back of the van Phil’s friend Mark was driving. They stopped outside the day-care centre, Mark got out, raised the bonnet and pretended to work on the engine. Ray, the second friend, drove into the community driveway, and went into the day-care centre on the pretext of asking for directions. He didn’t know Sandy, and carried a small photo of her concealed in his hand so that he could identify her. When he drove out, he signalled to Mark that she was inside. Ray’s part was over and he drove away.

  Phil and David leapt out of the van and raced into the day-care centre, but Sandy had gone. Phil knew which route she would have taken so the two of them tore through the screaming children and women, out the door, and caught up with her between the buildings. They grabbed her, but it was too dangerous to take her back the way they had come now that the alarm was raised. They hustled her out to the side road, and there was Ray who had decided to wait around. They bundled Sandy inside his car and were off, with the adrenalin pumping. It had all taken no more than tw
o or three minutes. They were safe, but Mark who was waiting for them outside the buildings with the van got into trouble with the men.

  The abduction was caught on camera because one of the television networks got wind of the plan and had cameras waiting. Phil suspects they were tipped off by a former community member with whom Phil had discussed his plans. This man wanted to expose what was happening inside the community and would have seen the abduction as an opportunity to get some publicity. Phil was angry at the time but he is now grateful because although Sandy says she didn’t want to go and that she dragged her feet, on film she is not dragging her feet.

  At the time, he saw nothing wrong in what he did. His vision was to save her and give her children back to her. He wanted to give them back to their mother, not to the community. They went to Faith’s house to pick them up. This time Sandy kept herself emotionally distant from them.

  Phil drove his family up to the Sounds, knowing that it was going to be much harder than last time, with Sandy now more indoctrinated than previously, and even stronger in her belief that heaven would only be hers for eternity if she lived in the community. Apparently Neville had increased the pressure by telling her that God required this sacrifice of her. It was God testing her, and she must make the sacrifice of giving up her children so that both she and they would be assured of heaven ever after.